Early to bed, early SUPRISE!!!

I have a habit of sleeping in awkward places. Like on the floor under my desk at work, for example. Or on the bleachers at an indoor soccer game. But it's all good because as Wilson Mizener once said, "the amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more." so, therefore, I am completely justified in sleeping wherever I want, because it is REQUIRED of me. :) at least I don't walk or talk (or pee, for that matter) while I am sleeping. My glorious husband both walks AND talks in his sleep, sometimes simultaneously. (but no, he does not pee, thankfully). It is quite entertaining if I am going to be completely honest. At first it was just down right hilarious but now, I'm almost so used to it, I don't even laugh. I just watch, listen, make a mental note of what he is doing, and then go back to sleep. It's funny because he never remembers what he is doing or what he has been dreaming about. Man, I wish I was that deep of a sleeper. He's like a zombie...
Speaking of zombies, there was one night, about a week after our honeymoon, when we had to house sit Casey's sisters house while she and her husband were in Arizona. Casey had stayed up late to play Dead Island with his brother on x-box live, so I climbed upstairs and into bed. Several hours later, I wake up to Casey scrambling for his pillow and carefully sliding off the pillow case. "babe, what are you doing?" I say. He sits there silent for a long time, then slowly stands up and proceeds to fold his pillowcase very neatly. "someone spilled water on my pillowcase." he says, inching his way towards the door. "I'm going to have to go downstairs and get a new one." "okay whatever" I think to myself, too tired to realize that it didn't make sense that only his pillowcase would be wet and not his entire pillow...but he continued "well I'm going to have to take all the weapons with me, so you are going to have to protect yourself." "WHAT?? Casey, are you awake?" at this point I was praying he was asleep. because it finally clicked that he said 'someone' got his pillow wet and he was acting like he needed to be prepared for whatever was downstairs... So was someone in the house?? "Casey, Are you awake? What's wrong?" (im whispering now, trying to keep quiet.) still no response. He stands there for a long time with a blank expression on his face, and finally says " I played that game for way too long last night." and goes back to sleep, with nothing more to say concerning the matter. I wanted to laugh out loud, but I was so dang tired, my stomach couldn't muffle out the puffs of air. I just rolled over, gently rubbed his arm and mumbled "love ya." then promptly fell asleep.

Now there are plenty other occasions where the same sort of nonsense has happened, but none have been as memorable, or frightening as that particular night. Often times I will wake up to him repeating his work script "thank you for calling career institute, this is Casey. I apologize but we don't offer that program, is there anything else you'd be looking to study?" or reffereeing unruly soccer games. " gentlemen, gentlemen, calm down....play on."
I am determined to get a recorder and post all his rankings on YouTube.
Oh boy I love him hahaha he keeps me happy even when I'm unconscious. and THAT, my friends, is something to be very, very proud of.
I am one lucky girl!!

Hey guys, am I cool?

Today I want to talk about being cool. And since I am most likely the expert at this, I thought I woud give you all some pointers...

Okay fine I'm lying. I'm not the expert at being cool. I'm just somewhat good at not being a complete idiot....actually maybe not even that. I think for the most part I'm just really good at spotting OTHER idiots. And you know what they say..."it takes one to know one"..
We all have our moments though, right??
That's why I never talk to anyone about politics. Because I never know what I'm talking about. And from what I've learned in my long and drab life, unless you want to live a life of misery and woe, you should NOT get involved in a political debate unless you are exceedingly learned in politics. You will be eaten alive.
Anyways. I need to inform the blogging universe of some things. For one I am no longer worried about what I am going to do after I grow up, get married, and have children. If I DO end up jarring food for the rest of my life, that's okay. Because my grandma does that and she makes some darn good homemade jam. For two, I actually got married two months ago. I know, that's unreal, right?! Its been about a year since my last post (this post is looong over due, I know) and after spending several years feeling like I was running in circles looking for something to make my life useful, I finally found it. And guess what- it all just fell right into my lap like a bead of sweat on a hot day. Ew that was a gross comparison. I'm sorry....im not deleting it though because I can't think of anything else to say. So read it and weep, stupid.

Regardless, my husband (yes, I have one of those) is great. More posts about him to come, don't you even werr-ayy. That was my gangster way of saying worry. Being a gangster is another fool proof way of being cool. Especially if you're white.
Okay so let's see how much we've learned today, kids.

To be cool:
1. Don't discuss politics unless you are politically literate.
2. Marry Casey Harward ( sorry ladies and gents... That one is going to be kind of hard to do. I guess I'm going to be one point cooler than everyone.)
3. Be a gangster.
like this guy, for example:

except just try to be a lot less like a forefather.

It's pretty simple-izzle if you ask mizzle fo shizzle.
And since no one can follow the second rule, except me, all you have to worry about is being a gangster who is indifferent about politics!

Well, it's about tiggety time for me to go now home slices. Don't vote....or do. Whatever.