I wish I had something important to say.

But, the sad truth is, I don't.

However, I do like to write. It gets my chaotic thoughts out of my head. Which is nice, because sometimes I think so much that I think my brain actually starts to ache...or at least tickle.

First of all, I would like you to know that I consider myself to have NO LIFE. As of right now and the past month I've been sitting in my living room or in my bed or in a friends car doing absolutely NOTHING productive. It doesn't feel that great. So, be warned. I might write a LOT. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a lot of time on my hands. 

Today I was supposed to try to keep myself busy, but I stayed up late last night talking to my old friend Alex who just got back from summer sales, so I didn't wake up until 11:00 am. Gross? Yes. Then it set off my whole day to be lazy. I have a lack of motivation to the point of dreading even getting in the shower. I hate getting ready. So i've been sporting sweats and a sloppy up-do for the past five days hahah. I think the comfortable attire might be why I don't want to do anything besides sit. Hm.

I promise you, though, that I am not a complete failure. The only reason why I have had nothing going on in my life is because I just recently graduated massage therapy school at UCMT and I got screwed over with the test I have to take to get my license. So now I have to somehow re-earn 200 dollars with out a job, to be able to actually take the test. 

Its a long story. I might explain later. No promises, though.

So far I think I have about fifty bucks. My mom's been generous enough to add a bunch in there...Probably 48 dollars of it. All I can remember earning on my own was the 2 dollars plato's closet gave me for one measly pair of boots. (Gee, don't overdo yourself guys. I'll try not to spend all 8 quarters in one place.)

HA. How funny life is. But then again I feel like its so BORING. I got through grade school...got through college...now what? get married, right? WRONG. I'm not dating anyone. Although I would love to date. Just not have a boyfriend. Some say i'm picky...I think i'm just being smart. I don't like to get into a relationship with someone unless I think it's going to lead to marriage. I mean, sure I date around and I have a ton of friends but no one sparks my interest. No one clicks. But you know what they say, patience is a virtue, so I guess i'll wait around a little longer :) I am only 19. 

I just don't understand what i'm supposed to be doing with myself? What happens when I get married? I have kids? Then I take care of them, right? Then they grow up, move out, I retire...then what? I sit around all day with my husband who will probably just like to golf and i'll be stuck at home jarring food and making bread for my grandchildren. What a life. AH its so boring. Time is so LONG. Sometimes I wish I could get married, have kids, watch them grow up in maybe like a year or so and then just die. Because If there's anything I hate, its routines. and if there's anything i love its exciting fun things. Like amusement parks. Wow I sound like a bum.

I need to grow up.

I think thats my problem.